You don't have to be ready

Readiness is a myth.

Hi friend,

I haven’t written in a few weeks because I’m in the process of a big shift — coming out of the animal advocacy closet (more on that here, if you’re interested).

Being in the middle of that change is disorienting (the US election doesn’t exactly help, either). I once got a bonus as one of Medium’s top writers… and right now, I’m clumsily stringing words together while getting frustrated about my inability to communicate about what’s going on.

The annoying thing about change? It takes as long as it takes — which is often longer than we would like. (And yes, that’s also true for collective changes.)

At the same time, sometimes changes become inevitable, whether on the collective or personal level. As the French novelist Émile Souvestre put it in 1848:

“There is something more powerful than strength, than courage, than genius itself: it is the idea whose time has come.”

Becoming more of an animal advocate is an idea whose time has come for me.

💡 Perhaps there’s also an idea whose time has come for you, an idea that won’t leave you alone? An idea that you can’t refuse? 

If so, you might enjoy my article about how you can deal with these big shifts:

A few years ago someone I know, let’s call her Nadine (not her real name), had an amazing and scary opportunity. She’d been invited to talk in front of a group of the pioneers and leaders in her industry.

Giving a speech to these people she looked up to is something Nadine had been wanting to do for the better part of a decade.

The only problem? She was very, very, very nervous. While Nadine was a great speaker, this was outside of her comfort zone.

So, how can you take a big step when you're really scared?

I once learned an important lesson about leaving the comfort zone:

I was just about to jump on a call for my first ever interview relating to my coaching business, which would expose quite a few new people to my work. At the time, my business was very new.

And, just like Nadine, I was very nervous.

So, I found myself pacing around the room.

I did not feel ready for what was in front of me. While I had prepared myself extensively, I still did not feel like I would know what to do.

My husband was patiently sitting on the couch. Eventually, he spoke. “You know,” he looked at me, “this is a big step.”

I nodded and continued to pace.

“You’re never completely ready to take a big step.” My husband paused. I stopped in my tracks. “You just do it and it works out.”

I sat down on the couch next to him. He was right.

When it comes to taking a big step, readiness is a myth

People are never ready for big steps in their lives... and you don't need to be.

For instance, here’s just a short list of a few of the things I didn't feel ready for:

• I wasn’t ready to study law at a Spanish university without really speaking the language at first.

• I wasn’t ready to get married in another country with less than 48 hours advance notice.

• I wasn’t ready to defend my doctoral thesis with a crimson-red face and while in pain thanks to my first-ever allergic reaction to a face cream I had tried.

And yet I have a law degree, a husband, and a doctor in front of my name.

Change only feels comfortable when it’s small enough to fit inside one's comfort zone — but then it doesn’t really qualify as a big step. Massive leaps require people to leave their comfort zone, which by definition doesn’t feel comfortable or like something one is ready for.

Here are 3 realizations that can help you when you're not ready for a big step:

1. Instead of getting ready for a big step, prepare yourself

There's a subtle difference between being ready and being prepared. For instance, while I was prepared for my first interview, I did not feel emotionally ready for it.

Being prepared refers to taking all the preparatory actions (often physical or mental) to put you in the best possible situation before taking a big step.

For instance, if you have to give a big speech, preparing yourself includes a lot of practice and receiving feedback from others. This is what Nadine did when she rehearsed her speech in front of a group and asked for everyone's constructive criticism.

In contrast, being ready describes a sense of emotional preparedness, which is something more complex and less under one's control than mere logistical steps.

Being prepared but not ready is actually an ideal situation for growth: by preparing adequately, you minimize the chances of something going wrong. Not feeling ready demonstrates that the gap between your current reality and what you’re about to do is so big that taking that step will help you grow.

➡️ What are the actions you could take to prepare yourself for taking the big step ahead of you?

2. Dare to not be ready

Of course, it’s more comfortable to feel ready to take a leap. And yet, where would it leave humanity if we only did things we already knew we could do?

Taking a big step we’re not ready for is the story of humanity.

Is a baby ever fully ready for being born? I very much doubt it.

Humans are not ready for births, including metaphorical ones (such as the birth of a new self).

➡️ If you have a big step ahead of you, can you dare to not be ready for it?

3. Accept that you don’t need to be ready to be successful

When it comes to taking big leaps, your extent of felt readiness does not predict whether you will be successful. It simply indicates how much the step will change you and how much it is outside your comfort zone.

If you look around yourself, you might find ample proof that one does not necessarily have to be ready to achieve positive outcomes.

For instance, to reiterate a previous point, humans are not ready for birth. Yet billions of us are here right now.

No matter which massive leap you are about to take, in most cases others have walked a similar path before you.

Finding these positive role models can help put your mind at ease, at least a little bit.

➡️ Can you think of someone who has successfully done something that's similar to the big step in front of you?

Takeaway

It's completely natural to not feel ready for taking a big step.

Instead of trying to be ready, prepare yourself to the best of your ability, dare to not be ready and accept that you actually don't need to feel ready to make it to the other side.

Being prepared: this refers to taking all the preparatory actions (often physical or mental) to put you in the best possible situation before taking a big step. ✅

Being ready: this describes a sense of emotional preparedness, which is something more complex and less under one’s control than mere logistical steps. ❌ 

Warmly,
Louise

P.S.: Did this resonate?

As a coach, I love helping people taking big steps in their lives. You can read more about what I do here.

Sounds interesting? If so, I'd love for you to get in contact with me! As always, I look forward to hearing from you.

Additional resources: