What is seeking expression through you?

Jumpstart your desire with these 5 not-so-easy steps.

Hi friend,

Are you wrestling with issues relating to work, productivity, or finding your path? My coaching practice Work You Love Coach is doing a virtual open house soon (Sep 30-Oct 1). If you like, this is a chance to receive my support—as a gift! 🎁

You can find out more details and find a time slot here. And, if you have a friend who could use this, please let them know!

Onward! What is seeking expression through you? What do you desire — and what does life desire from you?

In this article, we’ll explore how tapping into your desire can not only help you feel more alive, it can also help you find your path forward.

Full disclosure: I used to shy away from thinking about desire. When I thought about what I wanted (such as living my passion), I used sanitized and boring words, such as “goals.” Can you relate?

I felt justified in avoiding the messiness of desire. After all, I’m not only a somewhat cerebral German, I also used to be a lawyer. Then I realized that the famous German writer Johann Wolfgang Goethe — who got trained as a lawyer — wrote these lines:

“from desire I rush to satisfaction; from satisfaction I leap to desire.”

The bad news is that I ran out of excuses. The good news is that exploring desire has made my life better. Here’s why:

Desire is beautiful and it expands our world

Desire is what took humans to the stars. Astronauts walked on the moon because humanity had a collective dream, a want, a desire, to do so:

Photo by History in HD on Unsplash

That accomplishment wasn’t fuelled by technology—it was fuelled by desire.

Sure, we could chalk it all down to a Cold War achievement arms race — but at the heart of that was still the desire to win. To be first. To conquer the next frontier.

NASA threw itself into the realization of that desire… and when they succeeded, the world watched with bated breath. Meanwhile, the Soviet space program reached other big milestones, such as sending the first man and first woman into space.

I would like to highlight two things about the realization of these desires:

1. All these accomplishments were, in some ways, collective human accomplishments. Neither countries nor space agencies would exist if it weren’t for all the human development that came before them. Everyone alive is standing on the shoulders of giants.

2. Humanity’s exploration of space matters more than we might think. The accomplishments of space agencies go way beyond vanity or mere curiosity—they have changed our very consciousness and belief of what is possible. In 1948, the English astronomer Fred Hoyle put it this way:

"once a photograph of the Earth, taken from the outside, is available, a new idea as powerful as any in history will be let loose."

Well, here you go:

Photo by The New York Public Library on Unsplash

That, my friend, is the power of desire!

But wait, what even is desire?

The word desire comes from "de sidere" ("from the stars"). Originally related to astrology, how we interpret this word may depend on our spiritual beliefs, or non-beliefs.

Here’s how I define it:

🌟 Desire is the mysterious force that allows humans to create magnificent art, powerful space vessels, baby humans —— or everything else under the sun. 🌟

Want creates the economy.

Lust creates porn.

Desire creates this:

Photo by Mateus Campos Felipe on Unsplash

Desire is the future beckoning us forward — individually as well as collectively.

Desire is what bridges the gap between where we are and where we want to be.

Desire is the fuel needed to get to where we want to get.

Or, as Rumi put it:

“What you seek is seeking you.”

In the next section, we’ll explore what is seeking expression through you.

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How to jumpstart your desire in 5 steps

Because our desire-muscle has atrophied due to lack of use, we’ll have to jumpstart the whole thing. Here’s how:

1. Stop downplaying desire

“Those who restrain desire do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained.” ―William Blake, The Marriage of Heaven and Hell

You, me, all of us can benefit from no longer downplaying our desires. Like domesticated animals, we’ve been trained to hide our real nature, the desires nearest and dearest to our heart, instead opting for a comfortable existence.

It’s why people who, deep down, want to live an artist’s life settle for a house with a white picket fence instead. (Not that there’s anything wrong with a white picket fence.)

Teenage me pulling a politician’s tie. Don’t worry, he’s made out of wax.

Is the death of dreams really surprising in a culture that often looks more favorably upon greed or gluttony (or really any of the cardinal sins) than upon desire?

We’re taught to maximize profit or our material possessions (no matter the costs), but we’re dissuaded from reaching for the stars.

In this value system, it’s okay to use marketing to sell people stuff they don’t need and that’s probably harmful to them (such as fast food) — but an artist who has the audacity to want to make a good living while beautifying the world is met with ridicule and scorn.

That’s how messed up things are.

But here’s the thing: truth is a powerful tool. And when it comes to jumpstarting our desire, we first need to be honest with ourselves and actually acknowledge it.

To stop telling ourselves we don’t desire what we desire. That honesty is how you get clear on what you really want. 

➡️ To begin this process, sit with this question: “Where am I hiding my desires, even from myself?”

If it’s a true desire, the answer might hurt. But that’s okay. You’re stronger than this.

I know how scary it can feel to acknowledge something that’s important to you. With what we most desire, there’s often an equally strong fear that we won’t be able to get it.

In that situation, it can seem easier to just pretend we don’t care that much.

But the heart wants what it wants… and a fight with our heart is one we can’t win, even if it might take us until our deathbed to realize that.

(But, hey, let’s not wait until then, alright? Let’s instead move on to the next step.)

2. Realize that you have the right to desire what you desire

One thing that often holds people back from acknowledging their desires is that it can feel selfish to do so.

But here’s the bottom line: you, me, everyone, we have a right to desire what we desire.

How could it be selfish to simply acknowledge what is in your heart?

Saying that we have a right to desire what we desire is not the same as saying that we have a right to our desire.

Some desires are entirely impractical, completely unrealistic, or shouldn’t be pursued for other reasons, for instance, because they would cause serious harm to others.

But if that’s the case for your desire, don’t you think you deserve to at least acknowledge that desire to yourself… and then grieve that it won’t come to fruition? Surely that would be a healthier approach than pretending it never existed in the first place.

➡️ Begin by sitting with this question: “Where am I not allowing myself to acknowledge what I truly desire?”

3. Reflect on how desire has propelled you forward in life

Desire has probably played a bigger role in your life than you have acknowledged.

When I reflected on the impact it has had on my life, I noticed all these small inklings of things I deeply wanted and didn’t yet have.

When I was a legal trainee, I desired a different type of cultural experience. However, I wasn’t clear on what exactly that was. This desire and my subsequent search led me to spend time in a country that I had never been interested in before — Vietnam.

And I loved it! Even though I had never considered traveling to Vietnam before, it was exactly the right place for me to be at that point in my life. It gave me the cultural experience I had been looking for and turned into such a powerful time for me.

When I think back to it, my heart leaps.

Back in Hanoi.

That’s the power of desire — even desire for something that we can’t yet put into words.

➡️ To apply this in your own life, sit with the question: “How has desire shaped my life and influenced my decisions? How has it propelled me forward?”

4. Claim your desire(s): how to know what you want by changing the question

Now that you’ve begun the complicated journey of no longer downplaying your desires, it’s time to claim them.

➡️ To do that, allow yourself to sit with the question: "What is it that you desire?"

This is not about merely wanting something. Want and desire are not the same thing.

In fact, they’re not even in the same ballpark.

Right now, I might want a tea. But what I desire is to live life to the fullest.

How about you? Forget figuring out what you what, what do you really, deeply desire?

• If you desire to earn a livelihood from your art (even though you see no way of doing that and have you seen the state of the economy?!?), acknowledge that.

• If you desire to quit your soul-sucking job and move to Panama (even though you have to pay your mortgage), acknowledge that.

• If you desire to leave your spouse (even though you’ve been together for three decades) or find love (even though everyone tells you it’s too late), acknowledge that.

Congratulations, you’ve just claimed your desire! This brings us to the next and final step:

5. Embrace the uncertainty of your desire

As I mentioned before, there’s no guarantee that we’ll get what we desire.

And, while that can feel scary, if we take a step back, it’s also what makes desire so beautiful and powerful.

In this exchange, British writer Mike Carey makes an interesting point about the (apparent or real) unattainability of desire:

"Yahweh: 'You’ve been unhappy because you’ve desired things that cannot be.'

Lucifer: 'That’s what desire IS. The need for what we can’t have. The need for what’s readily available is called greed.'"

Now, I would partially disagree with Lucifer in this exchange here: desire isn’t necessarily the need for what we can’t obtain. Depending on circumstances, it is possible that we will be able to have it.

However, what we desire is often not readily available to us and so we might have to undertake a herculean effort to get it.

Photo by Kristina Schmid on Unsplash

That has certainly been the case for me when it comes to living my passion; it has taken me a lot longer than I thought to get to a place where I feel I have actualized my desire.

In a way, that sucked. In another way, not having my desire readily available to me was wonderful because it forced me to grow so much.

Following our heart’s desire leads us on an epic quest and starts our hero’s journey… regardless of whether we find the Holy Grail we’re looking for.

After all, as the legendary science fiction writer Ursula LeGuin put it:

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.”

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Knowing what you desire will improve your life

By applying these steps, you increase your chances of living your best possible life. Doing this might seem scary and daunting… and that’s because it is scary and daunting!

But it is also worth it.

In my own life, following my heart’s desire has changed pretty much everything — and made me much happier in the process.

If a cerebral, German lawyer (talking about myself here, not Goethe) can jumpstart her desire, so can you.

And I’m excited to see where it will take you!

Warmly,
Louise

P.S.: Here’s the link again for my virtual open house.

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More

Seeing the earth from outer space can lead to something called The Overview Effect—a deep sense of awe that puts everything into perspective.

Edgar Mitchell, Apollo 14 astronaut, put it this way:

“You develop an instant global consciousness, a people orientation, an intense dissatisfaction with the state of the world, and a compulsion to do something about it. From out there on the moon, international politics look so petty.”

In Alan Shephard’s words:

“If somebody'd said before the flight, 'Are you going to get carried away looking at the Earth from the Moon?' I would have say, 'No, no way.' But yet when I first looked back at the Earth, standing on the Moon, I cried.”

Honestly, I believe that if you are open, you don’t have to go to space to experience the Overview Effect. Just meditate on a picture of earth from outer space—it brings tears to my eyes every time. Or watch this: