Bravery Is An Inside Job

Moving beyond fear and unlocking your inner courage.

Photo by Sander Mathlener on Unsplash

Hi friend,

Fear is not only the mind killer, it’s the dream killer. So, today’s newsletter is all about becoming brave.

It’s about the part of you that’s resilient beyond measure and courageous to no end. It’s about your inner fire, strength and drive.

We so often forget that it takes guts to be kind, wise, and all the other things we associate with “being spiritual.” But embodiment on Earth is probably the hardest thing you have ever done. Being human automatically makes you a badass.

I like the idea that Earth is a super-special spiritual Boot Camp. We’re basically the Navy SEALs of souls, daring to go where angels fear to tread.

So, let’s talk about your badass self.

Becoming Dauntless

A few years ago, my friend wrote to me: “You should check out Divergent. The protagonist reminds me of you.” Naturally, this comment was catnip for my ego. I looked up the movie at a speed that would have made light envious.

If you don’t know Divergent, congrats on your adulting! It is set in a dystopian world where people are divided into 5 factions:

• selfless,

• honest,

• intelligent,

• peaceful, and

• brave people.

(Pick one.)

While critics have called the factions “stupid” (lol!), according to research they “appear to constitute an original set of constructs that are psychologically valid.”

So, let’s explore one of them.

Bravery boot camp

In Divergent, the brave people belong to a faction called Dauntless.

Their training program entails jumping out of moving trains, having knives thrown at them, and generally doing things that are diametrically opposed to a healthy sense of self-preservation.

What intrigued me is that they basically go to “Bravery Boot Camp” where they enter a simulation that confronts each person with their biggest fears.

Imagine being forced to confront your worst fears over and over and over again — until you have learned to overcome them.

Until you have learned that they can’t stop you.

Until you have learned that you are stronger than your fears.

It sounds terrible. And great. And terrible. And great. Like something I both want and definitely don’t want.

It promises a great bounty in exchange for a heavy price: face your fears and you will be unstoppable.

Why bravery matters

Without bravery, you can’t do the right thing in the face of adversity.

But as long as you’re brave, you can be anything else you want.

I was thinking of this when I had to read an email I was dreading—the outcome of an awkward conversation that related to saying no. I knew the other person would be disappointed, and for good reason.

I warily circled my laptop as if it would attack me, while hoping that the issue would somehow resolve itself. Eventually, I realized that I just had to deal with the discomfort.

So I sat down and felt my fear. It was uncomfortable but I didn’t spontaneously combust.

The dragon wasn’t a dragon, just a firefly.

Bravery is in the eye of the beholder

For me, reading that email was an act of bravery. That’s the thing about bravery… you define what it means to you.

If you have been bullied in school, giving a public speech might be the bravest thing you ever do. If you have been in an abusive relationship, starting to date again may require tremendous courage. If you have mental health issues, just getting out of bed might be a Herculean effort.

You can’t fully see bravery from the outside.

I once stood up to a few guys who were beating up another guy. To stop them from punching their victim, I kept on putting myself in between them. Thankfully, they didn’t feel like hitting me, and things eventually deescalated.

From the outside, my behavior might have seemed brave.

But I eventually realized that it hadn’t been that brave because I hadn’t been very afraid. Maybe I thought nothing bad would happen to me. Perhaps I was naive about the danger (me, older and wiser: yepp, you definitely were!).

Bravery requires the presence of fear. That’s why standing up to these guys was less brave than other things I have done — quitting my law job, moving to another continent, etc. My bravery in those situations wasn’t visible. It was all internal.

Bravery is—first and foremost—an inside job.

A conclusion — and a beginning

I now realize that I have accidentally completed a Dauntless training program.

I have boarded buses and trains in Sri Lanka, which is a rather Dauntless experience. (Why stop the bus when people can just jump out of it?)

I had a collision with a flying knife during martial arts training. (At least it wasn’t a sharp knife…)

I have even faced my fear of being stalked by a gigantic spider. (Don’t ask!)

And here’s my takeaway from that inadvertent training program: You and me, we don’t need to go to Bravery Boot Camp. We’re already enrolled in it.

It’s called Life.

Welcome to Dauntless!

Next steps:

⏩ Pick one brave thing you want to do this week. If you like, comment below for additional accountability.

⏩ If you want more help, I invite you to become a paid subscriber. You’ll get access to my “Tap Into Your Courage & Clarity” workshop that will change your relationship to fear.

Playlist Magic

Music and movies contain magic. Here’s some for tapping into your inner braveness.

Litany Against Fear

I won’t commit the heresy of writing about fear without mentioning the Fear Litany from Dune by Frank Herbert:

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

If you are in the mood for some chaos magic(k), try repeating the Fear Litany 10 times in a row. Or simply listen to this amazing soundtrack a few times:

You cannot kill me in a way that matters

Here’s a song that’s a bit more chill (as long as you don’t listen to the lyrics, hah!):

The phrase “You cannot kill me in a way that matters” comes from a 2018 Tumblr shitpost about a… defiant mushroom. It has since become a viral meme (as evidence by the fact that the song above is a cover of a song based on this meme). You really cannot kill this mushroom.

Be the mushroom you want to see in the world!

Warmly,
Louise

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