Are You a Lighthouse or a Battleship?

How old souls can create a separate peace, even in a world of war.

Hi friend,

How are you doing? Today, I’d love to share an article with you that I wrote a few years ago.

In the article, I describe two different philosophies: those of battleships and those of lighthouses.

This distinction feels more relevant than ever and since writing it, I realized a few additional things which you will find here and at the end of this article:

[Well, that escalated quickly… Mapping out these “few additional things” took about two days. 😅. Maybe next time I’ll pick a simpler topic, something like “What’s the meaning of life?”]

• Our soul age describes the maturity of our soul. This is different from our biological age, which is why you can have an old soul in a young body (or vice versa).

• Our soul age impacts everything, from our goals to how we see the world.

• We all start out as young souls and, through experience, eventually mature.

• Older souls aren’t better than younger souls, they just have a broader perspective.

• As a younger soul, we are more likely to view the world in terms of “win-lose” and “us vs. them”. This could be described as the philosophy of battleships.

• As an older soul, we eventually realize that there isn’t truly an “other.” Since we are all one on a spiritual level, it makes no sense to aim for a “win-lose” situation.

• The preferred outcome of older souls is “for the highest good of all.” This could be described as the philosophy of lighthouses.

• The world we live in is more shaped by young souls than old souls. In part that is because there are more younger souls, in part it is because younger souls tend to be more ambitious than older souls.

• However, we can probably all agree that the world could use more of the stabilizing influence of older souls.

• If you’re reading this, you can almost be certain that you’re an old soul. :)

Alright, let’s dive into the bulk of this article:

The Philosophy of Lighthouses

Do you think like a lighthouse—or like a battleship?

Having grown up near the Baltic Sea, I’m familiar with both of these shapes. When driving past the harbor there, I always see a massive block of gray on the water—ships belonging to the German navy. 

If I look out further, I see a lighthouse. 

While lighthouses reassure me, battleships don’t. I mean, it’s not like Denmark is going to invade Northern Germany anytime soon, right? 

What made me think about lighthouses and battleship is a book I discovered in our community library: the 1959 novel A Separate Place by John Knowles. While I had never heard of it before, it’s apparently quite the classic in American schools.

Set in the US during World War 2, it describes the friendship between Gene and his best friend Finny.

Like almost everyone around him, Gene is a battleship. His philosophy is that of war — and war sees the world in terms of win or lose. 

As a battleship, Gene distrusts his friend’s positive intention. Because he doesn’t want to feel vulnerable, he can’t admit his (probably romantic) feelings towards his friend.

On the other hand, Finny “always sees the best in others, seeks internal fulfilment free of accolades, and shapes the world around himself to fit his desires.”

In other words, he’s a lighthouse. 

And given that A Separate Peace is set in some of the darkest of times, Finny’s light is more necessary than ever, as the book’s narrator acknowledges:

“I think we reminded them of what peace was like, we boys of sixteen… We were careless and wild, and I suppose we could be thought of as a sign of the life the war was being fought to preserve… Phineas was the essence of this careless peace.”

Lighthouses can create peace

Lighthouses are the most reassuring buildings in the world.

Imagine how it would feel to see a light in the darkness that tells you you’re close to a harbor, after weeks out on an endless, shaky sea. The relief would be palpable.

The light signals to you: “This way to safety. You’ve made it. You’ve arrived.”

Lighthouses are so special that the greatest of them — the Lighthouse of Alexandria — became known as one of the Seven Wonders of the World. 

Well, Finny is basically the human equivalent of the Lighthouse of Alexandria. He cares about everyone and wants the best for everyone. Like a Golden Retriever who got turned into a human.

As Gene tells him:

“Phineas, you wouldn’t be any good in the war…. They’d get you some place at the front and there’d be a lull in the fighting, and the next thing anyone knew you’d be over with the Germans or the [Japanese], asking if they’d like to field a baseball team against our side. You’d be sitting in one of their command posts, teaching them English…. You’d get things so scrambled up nobody would know who to fight any more.”

That’s what lighthouses do. Their superpower is compassion and inclusion. 

Lighthouses offer their light to everyone and the concept of “enemy” doesn’t make sense to them. They believe in the philosophy of trade — which thrives on contact, exchange, and reciprocity. 

While everyone around him follows the philosophy of war, Finny creates a separate peace.

How this is relevant today

While we thankfully don’t find ourselves in the middle of a world war, the philosophy of war still permeates our world.

What’s the philosophy of war?

It’s the tendency to conquer and possess. The tendency to see someone as “the Other” and as less worthy. The tendency to believe in win-lose.

Right now, an army of human battleships is trying to steer this Spaceship Earth. Spoiler alert: it’s not going so well.

Any world worth living in requires the presence of lighthouses. It requires people who, as Gene put it, would “get things so scrambled up nobody would know who to fight anymore.”

In the spirit of getting things scrambled up, let me clarify that there aren’t really two types of people — one good (lighthouses — the Finnys of the world), one bad (battleships — the Genes of the world). 

Life is more complex than that.

Almost all of us have both battleship and lighthouse elements within us. The question isn’t: which type are you?

The question is: which type do you want to be? 

Do you have concerns about being a lighthouse? For instance, are you afraid you won’t be able to take care of yourself or that others might take advantage of you? 

How to be a human lighthouse

If you want to be a lighthouse, you have to stop believing in the philosophy of war. This doesn’t mean that you can never fight. We’re not Bonobos. We don’t live in some Utopian hippie paradise where nobody would ever consider hurting another person. 

Human lighthouses need to understand the philosophy of war so they don’t become a casualty of it. Lighthouses shouldn’t be punching bags or martyrs. They are one of the most valuable things in this world… and you protect your valuables.

Lighthouses have to learn how to keep their kind heart, while taking care of themselves. When lighthouses don’t know how to protect themselves, they’re often the ones who get hurt—emotionally, financially, mentally, spiritually and sometimes even physically.

That’s what happened in A Separate Peace. Because Finny didn’t understand the philosophy of war, he couldn’t spot it in others. When he finally realized that Gene was willing to hurt him, it broke his heart.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. Because lighthouses have a broader perspective, they tend to have a lot of mental and emotional strength.

Questions: 

- Are there people in your life who take advantage of you or otherwise have a negative impact on you? 
- Would you like to set some boundaries with them? 
- Where would you like to say "no" more often?

What lighthouses can learn from martial artists

Some of the most impressive martial artists I can think of are lighthouses.

Because they understand the philosophy of war, they would never confuse a lighthouse with a battleship. They would never show their soft underbelly to the human equivalent of a wild tiger. 

They could easily kill someone without breaking a sweat — but unless they really, really have to, they never would.

Case in point: martial arts instructor Guru Dan Inosanto, Bruce Lee’s former training partner. Here’s a video of him in action:

Having attended a seminar with Dan Inosanto (who is now in his 80s), I was most impressed by how gentle, thoughtful, and kind he is.

Take, for instance, this quote from him:

“The goal of the martial arts is not for the destruction of an opponent, but rather for self-growth and self-perfection. The practice of a martial art should be a practice of love - for the preservation of life, for the preservation of body, and for the preservation of family and friends.”

That’s a lighthouse talking—one who understands the philosophy of battleships.

It’s not that lighthouses can never fight. It’s that lighthouses don’t forget who they are when they do. They fight without losing the love in their heart. 

And that love transforms their actions. As Martin Luther King Jr. put it: 

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

Acting from love matters because, as Finny said in the book:

“When you really love something, then it loves you back, in whatever way it has to love.”

Even if it’s a battleship. 

After all, Gene did love his friend Finny and that love ultimately transformed him. When Gene finally went to war, he did so without hatred towards the enemy. 

Despite being involved in a war, he was no longer a battleship. 

That’s the transformative power of love and light. 

Takeaways

When a soul is old enough to stop believing in the philosophy of battleships, it brings up some new issues:

• How should lighthouses react when faced with violence? Our cultural role models for that are often martyrs who are willing to let others hurt them.

• The advice to “turn the other cheek” is very powerful on the symbolic level—that’s why many spiritual avatars (such as Yeshua/Jesus) have taken such an extreme stance for non-violence.

• However, most people aren’t here to be spiritual avatars. Responding to acts of aggression in this way could lead to them neglecting their own needs and becoming a doormat.

• Thankfully, old souls don’t have to choose between being an aggressor (a battleship) or a doormat (a martyr). They can instead become a protector.

• For instance, good martial artists know how to protect themselves and others from an attacker, while creating as little harm as possible to the attacker.

• The same principle can be applied to emotional/mental confrontations (which are much, much more common than physical conflicts). For instance, someone who speaks up on behalf of a bullied person is a protector.

• It’s easy for aggressors to convince themselves they are being protectors. However, protectors are lighthouses. They are influenced by love, not hatred of “the enemy”, and they don’t “otherize” the person who attacks them.

Questions: 

Can you find examples of people who are acting like aggressors, doormats, and protectors (either in real life or fiction)? 

Would you like to act more like a protector? If so, what would be a small step you could take to step more into that role? 

Warmly,
Louise